Being upfront dating
As if that would somehow make them look more appealing to the opposite sex. But my mate reassured me that was because they didn’t exist.I wondered if there were any recurring themes with the girls. He eventually decided to steer clear of the apps as it was warping his perspective of reality.I had a peek at my straight male friend’s dating app to check out my ‘competition’. Going on a first date flares up all sorts of anxiety.I live with imposter syndrome and when things are going well I’m convinced I’m going to be found out and exposed.We’d hit it off over text and were excited to meet IRL. I reassured him that it was because he was a dad, not despite it, that I wanted to go on a date with him. We had a lovely time and dated for a couple of months before he dumped me to get back with Kos 2014. Dating is as much about discovering your own identity as it is seeking the identity of ‘the one’.I could tell he was nervous, (so was I, he was really hot), and after an anxious first hour he blurted out: ‘I’m a dad. If you conceal your authentic self then it stands to reason that the people you meet along the way wont be authentic either.
Quite often, the personal things that we leave off our profiles are the exact things that are most endearing and memorable about us. I once went on a date with a guy who had a six-year-old. I’d done a pre-date Instagram stalk and saw photos of them together, alongside all the holiday snaps of him and his ex (not the mother) in Kos 2014.
He couldn’t get his head around my diet choice and tried to feed me chicken. I’ve never out and out lied on my dating profile, but I’ve definitely bent the truth.
I’ve used photos that weren’t so recent, listed my height a couple of inches short (heaven forbid I might meet a man who wasn’t threatened by my stature) and labelled myself an actress when the only role I was playing was that of a part-time receptionist.
There is so much pressure on social media and dating apps to conform to aesthetic ideals established on shows like Love Island.
People become so obsessed with being ‘100 per cent my type on paper’, they forget that dating is about spending time with a real human being and sharing a genuine connection. Pressure to portray an idealised ‘Instagrammable’ lifestyle is also building, to the point where photographers are offering social media photoshoot packages including set-ups designed to look like you are travelling on a private jet.
Even saying ‘I don’t know what I’m looking for’ is an honest answer.