Example of information in the left hand pane divorced dating dating dos and dons
Deciding to divorce when your spouse has a mental illness is a difficult, complex decision.
If I was angry with her, it would just create more opportunities for her mania and episodes. I’m not playing her like, “Oh, we’ll be together someday,” I’m playing her like, “Let’s go baby steps. I need you to do that.” I’m having to make the love very conditional, very transactional, which is a horrible way to conduct a marriage, but when you have somebody that never follows the agreements you make, you have to make it a cash-only transaction kind of reciprocation in the marriage.
It’s a complex decision and I think it helps to separate the decision to end your marriage from how to end your marriage.
Deciding on the how, will be easier once you’ve reached the point of truly believing that divorce is the best option for you.
Now that she’s better again or trying to be or whatever you want to call it, I can’t release and trust her again, because if she does hurt me again, I won’t have anything to pick myself up with. No matter what she does, I have that promise to myself.
I’ve had to really try hard to stick myself to that promise and she’s actually helped me keep it by being worse.