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Kind words mean the world to you — getting a compliment will boost your mood all day — so you return the favor by heaping praise on your spouse at every turn. She feels truly cared for when her spouse lends a helping hand — feeding the dog, taking out the garbage, paying the bills.
Your better half, however, experiences love in a whole different light.
This love language is based in the nitty-gritty routines of daily life.
Making beds, changing diapers, taking out the trash — they’re not the glamorous gestures of romantic love, but for the person whose primary language is Acts of Service, they’re the bedrock of committed, mature love.
Of course, if receiving gifts means little to you, it may be difficult for you to shower another person with presents.
We will never have those 20 minutes again; we are giving our lives to each other.
The husband’s compliments are sweet, and the mom’s presents are thoughtful, but because the intended recipient doesn’t send and receive love in the same primary way, the gestures fall flat.
Chapman’s book identifies five primary ways we express love.
Chapman calls gifts “visual symbols of love,” and he emphasizes that the monetary value of the present is rarely an issue.
You can buy, find, or make something for your loved one; it’s the thoughtfulness, and the intention behind the gesture, that means the most.