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The emotional processes which worked for him as a child may begin to work against him as an adult. of Duke University supports the idea that invalidation leads to mental health problems. We read books by smart people doctors, spiritual leaders, researcher, experts, etc. To learn more about something I know very little about from someone who is more knowledgeable than I? I believe no other person can MAKE you feel a certain way unless you let them.
In fact, one definition of the so-called "borderline personality disorder" is "the normal response of a sensitive person to an invalidating environment" (Psychiatrist R. Laing said that when we invalidate people or deny their perceptions and personal experiences, we make mental invalids of them. He writes "...a history of emotion invalidation (i.e., a history of childhood psychological abuse and parental punishment, minimization, and distress in response to negative emotion) was significantly associated with emotion inhibition (i.e., ambivalence over emotional expression, thought suppression, and avoidant stress responses). - people with more experience who were passing on their knowledge so that we could live a little smarter, maybe a little easier. So I learned many things: Moms mantra when we were upset was You can choose to be happy or choose to be sad, either way is a choice. If Im feeling stressed I try some different relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, turning up the radio super loud and singing in the car or dancing at home, count my blessings, or simply look at the beauty of the world around me.
If you’re dealing with strong emotion vulnerability, you can get to the point where you are able to step back (even at high speeds and in turbulent conditions), observe and notice how you’re feeling, and accept, experience, or regulate your emotions.
Regarding self-invalidation, I think of this as much like a well-worn path in the woods.
Learning the opposite – to validate yourself – can take some help and a lot of practice.To adapt to this unhealthy and dysfunctional environment, the working relationship between his thoughts and feelings becomes twisted. The Power of Positive Thinking was a big one at the time.His emotional responses, emotional management, and emotional development will likely be seriously, and perhaps permanently, impaired. She would have me read to her while she made dinner. I believe in being mindful of our feelings, and expressing them unless it would be harmful to someone else in which case, find a safe outlet write, paint, maybe vent to a listening friend.Actually, all emotions do have a basis in reality, and feelings are facts, fleeting though they may be. (being difficult; being dramatic, in a bad mood, tired, etc) It's nothing to get upset over. I didnt think I was telling them what they were feeling was wrong, I thought I was passing on what I had learned.But trying to dress an emotional wound, with logic tends to either confuse, sadden or infuriate a person. Things such as: When you find yourself thinking a negative thought Ill never Im not No one turn it around and say the opposite I will I am One or many . Or how about not dwelling on the things you cant change, focus on those things in your control? Sad, Confused, Scared Mom I met someone once who said her boyfriend was jealous. She said she tells him he has no reason to be jealous!
Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder", or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals" are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions. As a parent I want to teach my kids these things Ive learned.