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Clandestine relationships or regular hookups with one straight and one gay/bi guy sometimes exist in a mutual state of insecurity and fear.The straight guy is worried his “secret” will be uncovered while the gay or bi guy fears he’s being used or unworthy of a relationship in public view."It's crushing during the relationship and after," he says."Being with someone who doesn't want to accept the possibility they’re bisexual is difficult on a relationship, especially if they're still happy at the time to pursue one."Coming out can be a euphoric experience in a way, and make formerly closeted people feel they’re finally moving forward after years of stagnation.
James identifies as gay, but his first proper relationship was with a man who did not.“I’d visit, listen to him, we’d cuddle, and usually have sex.Before long, we were hanging out three nights a week, and on weekends we’d go for long walks and nice dinners and be out – ‘out out’ – in public.” On the surface of it, then, a gay relationship – but Luke didn’t see it that way.But straight men with sleeping with other men isn’t just a horny trope or a filthy secret – men willing to be open about their sexuality and commitment to identifying as straight do exist.And, coincidentally, Robin again found himself entangled with one.“Luke was a few months out of an eight-year relationship – his only – with a girl,” says Robin.
But just as labels can reassure, they can also confine or confuse, or seem like a restriction to those terrified of being defined by it for ever.